Category: Satire

  • British Terror Cell Wanted to Violate Sharia Law for AK-47s

    A British terror cell allegedly planned to buy five AK47 assault rifles by borrowing £100,000 in loans, a court heard.  …

    In one conversation recorded by the police the group are discussing how to obtain weapons.

    Naseer said that “out there in the market: “You can buy M16 you can buy AK.”

    He added: “You can get grenades, you know grenades? Fifteen hundred pounds for one grenade.”

    He said: “I’m trying to do that…take out loan.

    “Get about 100 grand then you get four five AK’s ready.”  …

    Naseer justified attacking non-believers because they have “sex like donkeys”, orgies and took drugs. He said: “They wanna you know have sex like donkeys on the street, they wanna club, act like animals and why shouldn’t we terrorise them, tell me that?”

    via Business Insider.

    Oh where to begin?

    For the record, I don’t believe anything about this story.  It’s just too over the top.  I’m a big believer that truth is stranger than fiction but rarely does it play out so perfectly; impossibly perfectly.  Anyway…

    It’s common knowledge that Sharia prohibits the fixed or floating payment or acceptance of specific interest or fees (known as riba, or usury) for loans of money.  So it makes me wonder how these Islamists were going to take a loan for the weapons.  Unless of course they are hypocrites.

    Next, what are they talking about buying these military grade weapons that are illegal in the UK, and in the US, and well just about everywhere?  How is this possible?  How can someone acquire something that is illegal?

    As for the donkeys, I’ll let you draw you’re own conclusions.

  • I really don’t understand all the hate. Are not those on the left supposed to accepting of everyone? Tolerance and all that? Seems to me the left is the chief preacher of hate.

  • MSM a/k/a The Ministry of Truth vs. Romney

    This (sadly) is not a spoof:
    [youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pFrB1-cD2Zc?rel=0]

  • Real Commercial or a Spoof?

    I honestly don’t know.

    [youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fJ9Twgif9gM?rel=0]

  • CTA Scam Sucks Millions in Taxpayer Funds

    It is after all the Chicago way.

    The CTA has potentially inflated by up to $150 million the federal taxpayer money it received since as far back as 1982 by “fraudulently over-reporting” the number of miles CTA buses travel while in service, according to a new report by a little-known watchdog group.

    In its report, titled “A bus tour of Chicago-style fraud,” Washington-based Cause of Action alleged that CTA officials reaped millions in extra federal money that the agency was not entitled to by improperly including “deadhead,” or out-of-service bus miles, along with funding-eligible revenue bus miles when applying for money from the Federal Transit Administration.  …

    But Cause of Action, which said it based its findings on “insider audit information” from six years ago, said the CTA likely continues to get away with its inaccurate mileage reporting, with the knowledge of the U.S. government, because of the transit agency’s political connections stretching from Chicago to Washington.

    It cited the clout of Valerie Jarrett, who is senior adviser to President Barack Obama and also a former chairwoman of the CTA (1995 to 2003), and Robert Rivkin, general counsel at the U.S. Department of Transportation. From 2001 to 2004, Rivkin was general counsel at the CTA.

    Officials at Cause of Action said they brought the matter to the attention of the U.S. Department of Transportation inspector general, the U.S. attorney general and Congress, but no action was taken.

    via Chicago Tribune.

    Surprise Surprise Surprise!!

    The good citizens of Chicago are naturally shocked and appalled that Valerie Jarrett and other stooges of The Machine have engaged in taxpayer fraud. Shocked and appalled.

    This sounds like a Qui Tam lawsuit in the making.  Someone going to get on that?

     

  • Dem Dems are a really really violent bunch. Someone needs a group hug.

  • I don’t know if this is funny or scary. I can tell you the comments on Twitchy are hilarious.

  • $2M in Unemployment to Inmates

    More than 1,100 people have collected nearly $2 million in unemployment benefits while they were in county jails or state prisons, including $43,000 that went to a person in the Cook County Jail, a state agency said Tuesday.

    Now they may face state or federal criminal fraud charges as well as having to repay what they shouldn’t have taken in the first place, said Greg Rivara, spokesman for the Illinois Department of Employment Security.

    In Cook County alone, there were 296 inmates tied to $722,689 in wrongful payments. In Will County, 21 inmates collected $85,159. Lake County was another leader with 20 inmates collecting $84,533, the agency said.

    via Chicago Tribune.

    WT…?!  You couldn’t make this stuff up.

    #1. Where are the two wonder-twins of justice in this?  Nothing from Lisa Madigan or Anita Alvarez?  Why?  Where have they been?
    #2.  Who the hell is running this agency?  Jail and prison records are actually a matter of public record.  You’re telling me no one ever bothered to cross-check the payouts against another public record?

    #3.  It kinda makes you wonder how much fraud is really going on in the system.  After all, The Machine has their corrupt friends running all these agencies there is really no limit to how much might be missing.

    Certainly not last… This is just another fine example as to why any service run by the government is doomed to ultimately doomed to fail.  People are incentivized to cheat the system.  But government employees are also incentivized to get as many people as possible into the system so they can justify their jobs and get more jobs and thus become more politically powerful.  As such, no one is watching the money.
    The government that works the least is most often the government that works best.

  • Two Stabbed Outside Near North Bars

    Two men were stabbed, another badly beaten and a fourth arrested early Sunday morning after a fight on Division Street spilled over onto State Street, according to police.

    An officer sustained non-life-threatening injuries that didn’t require hospitalization while trying to make the arrest on a 24-year-old man, Chicago Police Department News Affairs Officer John Mirabelli said.

    via Chicago Tribune.

    Four people injured by one crazed lunatic with a knife.  When is this town going to get tough on crime and demand common sense knife laws?

    Hey Rahm!!  On No one’s talking about banning knives.  But shouldn’t we have a knife registry?  What we need is a CKOC (Chicago Knife Owners Card) to make sure that only people who’d paid their fee are able to buy and carry knives.  We clearly need more common sense knife laws in order to prevent another tragedy like this one.

    BTW — Kudos to the police for not just shooting this idiot and sending his to his eternal rest.  CPD shows incredible restraint under tough circumstances.

  • No Street Money in Chicago; Could Obama Lose Illinois? Cook County?

    A lot of anger in the rank and file because Barack Obama is not handing out the typical “street money” to hire thugs to work the precincts and intimidate black voters into showing up at the polls. Obama’s balking at the $2 million that would cost because the campaign can’t afford to spend it.

    This could cost him enough votes in Cook County for Romney to win it…and thus the state.

    Sound incredible? It is. That’s true. But a lack of street money makes this possible if not probable.

    via Kevin DuJan @ Hillbuzz.

    This is not exactly a shakedown but it is another common occurrence on the Chicago’s West Side (and I understand the South too.)  I’ve seen it first hand in a local race… it’s bizarre.

    Kevin DuJan has excellent sources.  If he says this appears to be a problem then it’s going to be a problem.